Notes from the (new) Throne

It’s Lucy. I am so back.

Did you miss me?

My mom and I have been lying low for a few months. For a while, it was boring. My mom was talking about writing or thinking about writing or complaining about writing or sometimes even actually writing way too much for my liking. I had to beg her to take me on long walks and even then she was writing on her phone while we were walking.

Truly insufferable.

Be serious and take me outside.

Things got more exciting when we moved to a new house. I now have cats!! After so many years of wanting cat friends, I have three cats and a turtle. My mom says they’re my brothers and sister, but that seems bizarre tbh. I forget the turtle exists because he stays in one place and doesn’t say much. I don’t understand the cats at all. They sleep a lot. Sometimes they ignore me, and sometimes they attack me for no reason. When they eat, I’m not allowed to eat with them, which seems rude. They also like to cuddle, and I do not relate to that life choice. Personal space is a right.

He hates me.

He hates me, part deux.

Give this to the police if something happens to me.

We have all had a lot of time together lately because I have been recovering from a tiny little medical thing. My mom keeps calling it “major surgery” when she’s trying to keep me in one room, but she’s always been super dramatic.

I will pay them back for making me wear this in public.

We made a cool fort in the living room where we stayed for like two weeks straight. I thought it was fun to have a bed in the living room. The cats liked it, too. My mom was losing it a little, but like I said, she’s dramatic.

So cozy. So chic.

But I’m fine now!! I added a scar to my collection. I’m happy to go on long walks and to have my favorite sticks again. Also glad to be rid of the stupid suit I had to wear. Can’t a girl lick her staples in peace? Apparently not.

In case you were wondering how I sleep at night.

I have also taken on a new part-time role: being Chris’s supervisor. If not for me, he would continue to watch soccer videos and listen to weird music instead of getting his work done. But we need money because I keep spending it, so that’s not going to cut it.

My new work setup.

Once my mom gets home, he’s on his own. One of my favorite times of the day is when she helps me with the list of things I need as soon as she walks in the door:

• Show me what’s in your bags.

• Pet me. BUT NOT TOO MUCH.

• Take me outside.

• Let me back in at the exact moment I require it.

• Treat.

• Give me food whether I’ve had it or not.

• Take me on a walk, so I can smell the neighborhood.

• Pick up the poop I left in an inconvenient location.

• Stick time.

• Panic when you can’t find me because I’ve disappeared when you weren’t looking.

She gets so tired. It’s hilarious.

Anyway, I’m bored with this now and in need of attention. Leave me comments. Tell me about some of the good foods you’ve stolen eaten in the past few months and/or if you have ideas for new shenanigans for me to try.

I’ll leave you with this video of me helping with the move. My mom claims she’ll be back next week!

Thank you for reading! My debut novel CASKET CASE is available wherever you get your books. If you’ve already read it and liked it, please leave a 5-star review on Goodreads or Amazon and share it on the social media of your choice. I appreciate your continued support, which allows me to keep writing books!